I wish you wouldn't have had that convo. It only hurt you. You pressured her. When you said this is the plan, unless there is a miracle, she shut it down hard. What did you expect her to say? When she said you were rude and being a jerk, you should have validated and shut that down.
You are harboring some anger that you need to let go of. My dad has been divorced a million times and he stills to this day resents every woman that divorced him. Don't live with all that anger.
What is the debt she wants to pay down to supposedly help you pay less alimony? Do you really think she wants to help you? Why would you have to pay alimony anyways, did your lawyer say you would?
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I fell back into my old habit of saying that if my parents pulled the same crap WW would raise hell herself and would probably put a restraining order.
This usually doesn't work, even in a healthy R. You guys probably have an unhealthy fighting dynamic, and you need to look at your part of that and how to change it.
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I told her that she was making assumptions about where my anger was and I was pretty certain that I told WW that it was not directly her fault.
She knows you're mad about her being a WW. She knows you still want her. She knows she is still in control. Your lie about your anger shows her that you are trying to control things, why else lie?
Pain, just keep detaching, limit conversations for your own good. Don't talk to your W any more than necessary.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
