Whirlwind of Hurt 6

[Twofeet]

I am so worked up over this I had to take a break from work and go sit in my vehicle and meditate. There is some residual anger, but I feel more centered now. I don't care about the bench OM made or the bed frame he is going to make. What upsets me is that this whole time, even when posting on here otherwise, I had deep down fooled myself into believing there wasn't an OM. I fooled myself that what ever was going on in the beginning when I discovered the EA had likely ended. I feel like he is such a step below me that it couldn't be real. So I am mad that she could be so weak and pathetic, especially since she used to have such moral high ground. I am mad at myself for being a foolish idiot and basically lying to myself. I am mad because despite my efforts I am struggling with detachment and lying to myself otherwise. Lastly, I am mad that she is talking to D8 about OM, this is just the start. She is manipulating D8 about the dog, and she does it with other things with the kids. Now I have to contend with this mess. She puts up obstacles whether intentional or not and I have to figure out how to navigate them for myself and the children.
Yes I still hope for recon, but not with this person. I don't know this WW, and I don't like her. Hence, the lighthouse. Maybe she will come back, but maybe she will not.