She may be WW, though WWs usually try to keep up family appearances while still doing whatever (and whomever) they want. Understand that right now you are dealing with someone who is beyond selfish. Anyone that will leave their kids to feed themselves can't be trusted to put anyone else ahead of herself in her life.
I like your plan. Remember, GAL is essential. Especially when you come home. As cadet said be dad first, but when you aren't with kids be BUSY BUSY BUSY.
Look up self-differentiation in marriage. Learning about it really helped me a lot related to detaching.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
