I am glad to see you around these parts again and thanks for the update. I am sorry all you are going through with your S14. It scares the bejesus out of me, the teenage years. I've known quite a few great parents with great kids where the hormones win for a while. I hope your S finds his way soon, and I think it is a good idea to let his mom handle that stuff for a while. I also completely understand your sentiments on how you fought for 50/50 custody and he tries to hurt that with the family. I don't know if he truly understands what you went through, but he should.
Just keep on keeping on, raise your kids, enjoy them, do the things you love.
