K: I am overwhelmed by your empathy and gentle compassion. I am sure you've heard the cliche: anger and bitterness are the poison we keep swallowing, hoping that the other person will die. I am sure forgiveness of ex-W will come over time. I trust you.
FS: Actually, Therapist we have been seeing is hers. W has been in IC and asked me to join her for one session with her therapist so we could achieve closure. What was supposed to be a one-off session transitioned to 4 over the past two months.
FS, your advice to give W space to focus on herself is sound. But I do think the joint sessions were pivotal. As Therapist told me when we first spoke by phone, "I feel like I've been reading a book with missing chapters and that you are supplying the other half of the book." I don't know what marriage narrative Therapist formed during her individual sessions with W, but I don't think I came across as some cruel, angry cad (W's characterization of me) during our joint sessions.
At the very least, I hope I helped Therapist avoid the mistake K's ex-W's therapist made, which was to unquestioningly accept ex-W's version of events. I don't think it's any therapist's role to be unconditional cheerleader of the client.
