But trust me on this, she wants you to react. She needs you to react. She expects you to react. When you remain calm, cool, pleased, happy, content, no matter what she says or does the impact on her will be profound.
i can't improve at all on what Steve told you, he's a vet of this place so please listen to what he's telling you. I just wanted to highlight though that particular piece he offered. You need to get to the place he advises you need to get to ASAP. For two reasons, one it will help to get you detached and balanced in your dealings with her and two, your wife's "fire" is fueled by her need for you to react. Now how it effects her...for me i have no idea how/what my W thinks, but I do know for d88n sure I can take her fuel from her by being exactly as Steve describes when dealing with her. It's said many times here you DO have more control than you realize IF you can quickly get a handle on your emotions and do what actually works rather than what you think will.
