I have hesitated to post to you because I don't want to come off too harsh, and I feel like you might not agree with what I say because you are so dead set on getting your H back.
I read Blu's post to you, and WOW. Yes! it says so much to you and your sitch and what you and daughter deserve.
I also really don't have any family. I am an only child. My mother passed away when I was 21, and we never had a good R, as she was a bipolar recovering drug addict who picked drugs back up again when my dad left. My dad was all I had, and when I was 17, he left for his OW. He moved back to NY to build a life with his now wife. he was still present, but I never felt so abandoned and alone as my mother was going off the deep end and my dad wasn't there to protect me anymore. This lead to some really bad decisions in my life. One being my exH. This is the time we got together. I let him treat me so horribly because he was all I had. I allowed myself to be cheated on, disrespected, talked down to, all because if I let go of him, who did I have? I guess you could say he later did me a favor by letting go. He is no different the man who left me almost 11 years ago. For a period of time, of course, with a 6 month old baby, I thought I couldn't survive without him and him coming back would be the answer to everything and my life would be that much better. But LORD NO! If he was coming back unchanged, my life and my daughter's life would have been a pure hell. She would see me disrespected on a daily basis and I would have modeled a woman tolerating this. This is what she would have learned. I honestly cringe at the thought. We think showing that "standing for our marriage" is showing our kids something honorable. But no. When the other half violates those vows in so many numerous ways, it shows a lack of self worth. A marriage is more than living with someone and piece of paper. There are more ways to violate vows than infidelity. You ex is violating vows in every way imaginable.
And I know if he were to come home unchanged tomorrow you would accept him with open arms. What would that be showing yourself and your daughter? Imagine you were watching your daughter in your position? What would you want for her? For her to pine over a person who has proven he is a poor excuse for a husband and a father? For her to wait for him to come home? To have all of her moves dictated by his?
This is not meant to be insulting to you as a woman and a mother. I know your intentions are that you are standing for your M. You continue to say "my husband" every chance you can. He hasn't been a husband to you, but on paper.
I survived by making friends family. By knowing I am teaching my daughter self worth and self respect. Showing her I will be just fine and we will be just fine, just the two of us and the tribe we built.
You are going to literally waste what could be such a beautiful and fulfilling life waiting on a guy who is so lost and selfish and I would hate that for you and your daughter. You have a career, a wonderful child, hopefully a strong circle of friends, how is this disrespectful man going to make anything better?
I hope traveling to Europe and being with those who love and respect you open your eyes up to what this life has to offer without him. So much more than with him, quite honestly. And I believe in honoring marriage vows. But both sides have to do it. He is choosing to violate them in more ways than one. And you holding your growth and healing and life back for a lost man breaks my heart for you.
