Thank you very much! You are absolutely right. I have been disrespected in ways I could never imagine, and every freakin logical emotion in me says: What the heck, how are you putting up with this, what do you expect will happen. STXW will NEVER see you with eyes of respect as long as she is allowed to do this to you, so why do you let her..
Fact is, im scared. I scared for me, I am scared for my kids, and its a bad excuse. I have realized, and probably have known for a while now. That we are done in this situation. That she has made a choice to dissolve, and follow a path that includes the kids, but I am not invited on this ride. I guess I have been sticking around, trying to see if a ticket should fly my way, but its unworthy.
My DB at this time consists of being a good father, and trying to figure out how to get the best deal for me and my kids, to have as much time together as possible. I am being respectful as long as we don't talk about OM activities or her affair schedule. Then I simply tell her how disrespectful it is, and walk away. I am done taking her bait, and I am done with her temp-checks.
Me and WW basically need to end, if we are ever to make a new beginning - I don't even now if that is possible anymore, with her being so deep and burning so many bridges. The fact that I mentioned yesterday: She spending more money on a gift for OM she has been with for 3 months, than for her children combined for christmas, just makes me really wonder what values she possess, and it scares me that she gets to have my kids in this current state.
After our talk yesterday, when I asked / told her straight up, that it would be suitable, and a good idea for her to move out (she accepted to leave from yesterday until tuesday), she texted me this afternoon and said she would be coming home. She came home 2 hours ago. I told her yesterday all I had to say, so I didn't argue with her, I kept my cool and stayed silent. I also have a fever and a cold, so I really don't have the energy. The kids were stoked to see mommy, and she said I should go to bed, because I looked really bad. She then asked if I needed anything. I said "No thank you". That is the only thing I have said to her. Now I am in MBR, watching a movie, kids are sleeping, and she is in living room texting vividly. She will be leaving early tomorrow morning. I hope the house sells soon, it will be very healthy for all of us.
/h
BD: Wife says "its over" 11th august 2018. EA: June 2018 PA: August 2018 - ongoing Status: Taking turns 7 days a week to be in the house w. kids WW: no regrets, seems happy with leaving.
I get there you’re scared and that is perfectly normal. I just want you to know that 90% of things you fear never come true. I promise you that you and the kid will be fine it will just take some time. You’re still way to focused on your W and what she is doing.
I want your next post to be about you and the kids. What’s in store for the future for you guys. Nothing about your W. Zip zero nada.
So today, I got to sleep late, and luckily my fever went down. I then took the kids, and we bought a christmas tree, got it decorated, and then we went grocery shopping.
After that we got some lunch and headed out to visit some family. We just returned home, and are about to order food (yea im sick, and don't really have energy or surplus on the mental account to do anything about it tonight).
I feel like my fever is returning, and i am gonna call in sick tomorrow (never am sick so don't feel all that burdened about that). And tonight when the kids are sleeping I will be crashing on the couch.
I need advice, even though I am not to talk about "Voldemort". She is coming home tomorrow, and most likely will be here for the week. You asked if I am going to allow the affair, I don't think its respectful, however, I can't really do anything? All I can do, is spend my time in the MBR when she is home, or go out. Is that enough? She definitely knows im done, but she whimsies around the house and looks all happy whenever she is here, and it annoys the living hell out of me to be honest. I like it when she is gone.
BD: Wife says "its over" 11th august 2018. EA: June 2018 PA: August 2018 - ongoing Status: Taking turns 7 days a week to be in the house w. kids WW: no regrets, seems happy with leaving.
This is where you get frustrating because you keep asking the same questions.
Of course she's happy! She gets to go off to be with her boyfriend leave you taking care of the kids and grocery shopping and then comes home and plays house with you.
No one will ever do or say anything to you that you don't allow them to. You are allowing her to do this to you. Why don't you start packing her $hit up and moving it into the garage? Why don't you file for divorce? You're too busy trying to not upset her. Every marriage has deal breakers. What are yours?
I am really not sure we can help you Hurt. You have to participate in your own rescue.
I did in fact pack her [censored] up, and moved it to S1's room. We are not married, but have been living as such for 10 years now. I am done with her, but im stuck in this house while it sells. I can't just move her [censored] out of the house as she owns half of it, and that could get really messy involving the authorities. I think I have said and acted as I can. But I am stuck in this vacuum of waiting to be released because of the economics, and she seems to be enjoying the free ride.
I would have filed if we were married, trust me.
BD: Wife says "its over" 11th august 2018. EA: June 2018 PA: August 2018 - ongoing Status: Taking turns 7 days a week to be in the house w. kids WW: no regrets, seems happy with leaving.
House is being marketed at extremely reasonable price and should sell very soon. I think she won't see what the fk she has done, before she is out on her own living free and with no ties to me (that is her number one excuse, that she missed out and wants to experience what there is more to life". Then she will realize, and maybe she won't. It doesn't really matter right now, I don't hate her, but I hate what she did, and that makes me not want to be with her, and I don't know if that can change. In time I will forgive I am sure.. but I will never forget. She shows no signs of remorse what so ever.
She just texted me "should I call and say goodnight to the kids, or is it best if I don't?" I was really offended... again wtf, you text me from another dudes house asking me questions... I wanted to flip her... I don't respond to calls or texts ever, unless it is about the kids. I just replied "They are sleeping." and, yep they are. She then just texted "okay.".
Cant wait for this to end.
BD: Wife says "its over" 11th august 2018. EA: June 2018 PA: August 2018 - ongoing Status: Taking turns 7 days a week to be in the house w. kids WW: no regrets, seems happy with leaving.
So woke up after a long night. D4 was missing mom, who has been away most of the weekend. S1 didn't sleep that well and I am running a cold with a fever. I managed to get them clothed, fed and into daycare.
I met a father in the daycare who engaged me at the christmas party a week ago, he is the director at the water work and our real estate broker had reached out for our annual spendings for use in the sales papers. So he knew from there that the house was selling. I briefly informed him, that me and WW were going our separate ways. Today he waited at me when I came out the gate, and asked if everything was allright. I just.. don't even know, but 20 minutes later I had told him how WW had acted from beginning to now. He said I could count on his discression, but he really hoped I could get out of her claws soon, meaning that the house would sell, because nobody should endure that behavior. He was so shocked that she was able to pull that behavior.
I felt kind of bad that I had said it, however why should I, she was in OMs bed while I had that situation. Not 1 month ago, she had a incident revolving around a wisdom tooth, and she was in bed for a week, couldn't do anything, so i took carer of the house from monday through thursday as well as kids and attended to her, because, im a dumb nice guy. Come friday, she realizes it might be a tooth. So goes to the dentist, gets it pulled and everything is dandy. Two hours later she departs for OMs house for the weekend.
Yesterday she asks me, if we have any exiting plans for the afternoon (she is really saying "im going to have a good time, what about you and the kids?"). I said that I had a fever, had been sleeping all through saturday when she came home, and i was still really sick so I guess I an the kids just had to relax and hopefully I would feel better.. She just answered "oh, okay..." then she left. That really showed me, how little empathy she holds for me, and it really hurts.
Up and onwards, she doesn't deserve me.
BD: Wife says "its over" 11th august 2018. EA: June 2018 PA: August 2018 - ongoing Status: Taking turns 7 days a week to be in the house w. kids WW: no regrets, seems happy with leaving.
hurt...no, she does not deserve you. and all of those things that you are doing for your children, that's what a man does for his family. you keep focusing on answering that bell for your children. with time, through all of the shots she is taking at you, through all that you are enduring....you ARE ENDURING and becoming a stronger, better man. experience as terrible as it is...it is forging you into a better man in so many ways.
