Milestones of Moving On (?)

[TJT]

One more thing, I also want to say that my H, while he has exhibited a TON of other MLC behaviors, has never done the whole "confusion" thing. Well, I won't say "never". He acted confused before I found out all the details of A, and then there was definitely some inability of him to make any decisions, but ever since I told him that if he is not willing to work on M I did not want him coming back and forth to the house when it was convenient for him, it has pretty much been NC.

I also read this is a long-haul thing with MLCs, so maybe the timeline just hasn't progressed enough in my sitch yet. It's been three months or so since H moved out, and about 7 months since BD. I am now very interested to see if the confusion principle kicks in the longer we are apart. I am definitely not expecting it based on how things seem to be now.

Another thing I am thinking based off the MLC resources is that I need to back off trying to contact his family now, too. I have not been crazy about it or anything, but I think they may take it as having an ulterior motive (like using them just to try to get info. on H). Even though that's not what I'm doing, I think I need to somehow allow them to figure things out in terms of what's going on with H too. I will admit that I have not reached out to my H's family independently very much in the past, like I've been doing occasionally now. I feel bad that that's the case but that is one of those things I've honestly realized I need to do better in the future... when H and I were together I guess I felt like it was just more appropriate to be initiated by him but I realize now I could have done more as a DIL. It's unfortunate that now it could be seen as something manipulative so I'm even stuck there too, it seems. I'll have to try to strike a better balance between reaching out to them and falling back. Really maddening to feel like I can't do anything right and will just have to lose everything!