Milestones of Moving On (?)

[TJT]

Wow, thanks for pointing me back to that thread Yail! You're right that I'm now more convinced that my sitch is characteristic of MLC. There were even a few very exact things - like my H not telling anyone about anything and literally, word for word, agreeing to let me have our dog because he said he thought I needed her more! I almost fell on the floor when I read that part of that thread.

I've realized a lot of my H is doing is something he has to do, and in his own time, for sure. I even mentioned to him that regardless of what happens to us, I was concerned about some of his behaviors and how he was dealing with thing and he should still try to talk to someone. He just told me he'll deal with it later (similar thing when I said it doesn't make sense for us to work on the things that could help the marriage without staying married...he just said "well we can work on it with other people now" - also remembered as one of the more hurtful things he said where I felt like he was an alien).

What's been helping me lately is the stupid element of hope that I feel MLC gives... that maybe one day he will snap out of it. I am going to read up more on how to best respond to MLCers so I'm more prepared if/when things change. I'm just trying not to think of things as so finite. As much as it seems impossible right now, there's no law saying in a year or two or five or whatever that things won't be different (of course dependent on whether it's still what I want, and of course right now I think it's what I'll want forever, but I will acknowledge for my own sanity that I'm sure even I have to have a breaking point).

Maybe it's too optimistic, but I think I've got enough of the "just deal with it" mentality to balance this out, and if it helps me to not be an anxious wreck each day, I'll take it until it doesn't serve me anymore!