DB again... too late or last strike

[Adam04]

Hey Did,

Sorry about your Sitch. Just gonna share my thoughts / ask some questions as a fellow LBS.

Ginger thanks i agree - codependent. I will bring this up at my Ic tomorrow. The only time I feel like she doesn’t influence me is when I focus on the break up. Moving on without her.

Is this focus all the time, and do you mean detaching when you focus on break up and moving on? If not, why do you let your guard down or why can't you expand / change your feelings so that no matter what you think about, that influence is no longer there? Seems she has too much control over you and somewhere you have to find beginnings on things you

I have a feeling she’s going to pursue sex in the next week or two. Say no unless you’re ready to recommit to working on our relationship and marriage. No sex no discussion. She will view this is an ultimatum and control. Or I could just have the great sex then continue NC although I will obliviously be reattached. Better we have sex than have sex with others?

Seems controlling to me too. may help the fantasy, but hurt the reality.

Whether I want the sex or lot maybe better to just be unavailable. And continue to focus on me.

focus is drilling down to what? This could be tunnel vision if your mind is on sex with her.