Paco - no-one here can tell you when to stand down. That is something only you can decide.
But I would caution trying to encourage your W to see an 'alternate version to her story'. Her story is skewed but only she can unskew it and she has to do it in her own time. Until she is ready to face her truth your W will fight tooth and nail to maintain her narrative, and yes, she will blame the person she is closest too. The story will get twisted more and more because she will be driven to protect herself. Plus, remember, there are no absolute truths when it comes to memories and feelings. There is only our internal interpretation of those memories and feelings. Look within yourself because this is all you can control ... what you will see is that no marriage is perfect, all of us are flawed, and therefore, to some extent, we are all at fault for the issues in our marriages.
Work on you. Turn the light on you. Leave your W be for now. And by this I don't mean let her go but give her the space to work things out for herself. Your W will get there. But in her own time.
You've said that your W's problems are 'rooted in her inability to process feelings' - have you suggested IC? I think sometimes our presence in MC may actually hinder their progress and force them to focus on their resentment of us instead of on themselves.
