DB again... too late or last strike

[Did]

W continues to send me stuff poetry about growth patience and desire on Instagram saying patience is everything. Multiple pictures of D4. When she picked up D4 we gave space for her and babysitter to get to know each other. To say bye w got on my lap and hugged me sexually. I should deny these intimate touches I suppose.

I feel like I need to repeat / Restablish boundaries. If you are admittedly inconsistent, selfish I can not have you in my life. I do not want to talk. You are choosing to be in this place and I refuse to have toxic relationships in my life.

Or just say nothing as she continues to show small signs of pursuit. NC obviously works with her.

The question is when to actually talk if she wants to.

She says she feels like she has to be selfish. Or she is inconsistent with her feelings. I think these are choices and she is putting herself in a victim role. She doesn’t have to be selfish or go with her feelings up and down all the time she could make decisions and be a good partner if she wanted to. Trauma or not...Right?

I definitely can not have her in my life when she is inconsistent. And I just need to think of us as over and continue 180s. Focus on me. I say that but when she comes around I have a really hard time keeping her out of my thoughts. My sleep is all fd up again.