It has been a while since I've written an entry. Things have been busy and in all honesty, I do not know where I am right now emotionally.
I have continued to become more positive about my future each day. I do not think of him much other than when I am about to see him, seeing him, or have just seen him. I find our interactions increasingly awkward. He has most of the lat week off so he has been seeing the children a lot. He has been coming around to the house and 'doing stuff' whilst I have been at work. I went into the office each day last week, both because I enjoy the interactions at work, and because I do not enjoy my interactions with him. He has increasingly become moody when he has been with me (mainly because I am out so much these days). He still does not ask, but I can tell it upsets him.
For example, I went out Wednesday night, and after one too many drinks, I decided to book a hotel and stay in London (on my own). He had the children so didn't think anything of it. It felt strange (and a little painful) getting to the hotel room and not texting him to tell him I was OK, but I figured he is not my H anymore, and therefore I did not need to tell him. In the morning I got a text at 10:30 saying "Girls got to school OK. D9 a bit upset you didn't come home as told her she would see you in the morning. D9 enjoyed the school Christmas festival at church" followed by 3 photos from D9's assembly and a video. I thought a bit about whether to respond, but eventually relented, and said "Thanks. She looks adorable. Sorry I missed it". He sent a few more texts about the festival with short responses from me. He then said he would wait at the house for me to come home that evening as the girls wanted to see me before going to his place to stay the night.
Last night he told me I had to be back by 7 so he could go to play football. I was home by 6 and when he brought them back at 7 he said "You're home early" (evidence I think that he is watching that f**king camera). He sat down in the kitchen for a bit and there was awkward silence. I eventually said "girls, daddy has to go, come kiss him goodbye". He said he was going to stay for half an hour because football didn't start until 8:00. I said "oh, I'll just go get changed out of my suit then" and as I walked upstairs, I heard him say to no-one in particular "ridiculous". When I came downstairs he asked if I could drop our dog to his flat Tuesday morning (the girls as staying with him Monday night) so he can take her to get her haircut. I said I couldn't as I was going for a drink Monday night and would have to leave the car at the station and catch a taxi in the morning. He pulled a face, went "urgh, fine, I'll sort it out".
So, whilst I get Steve's point that every interaction either brings us closer together or pulls us further apart I do not know what the appropriate DB response is. I am detaching (which is the only action available to me in this sh!t of a situation) and he is responding with passive aggressiveness, anger and masked emotional guilting. I cannot validate snide remarks.
