Re: Moving past the WAW to a stronger me Pt. 5

[Davide]

Quick update:

My W stopped by last night early to walk the dog so we chatted a bit - nothing serious, just about our shared gym membership and the process of canceling that. But as she left with the dog, she asked me if I wanted to see the new motorcycle that she just bought (with her own money). I grudgingly obliged, just to be polite, and gave her a half-hearted "it's nice."

I was struck by two things: 1) How little I gave a f#ck about her motorcycle, and 2)What the h#ll is going through her head to think that I want to see it? She was really excited about sharing this new part of her life with me, and clearly expected me to respond with enthusiasm. Really? It's not like I am a motorcycle enthusiast who loves bikes, nor had I asked her anything about it, nor had I shared anything about my own life over the past 8 months with her. She is just so damn clueless. It's clear that she is in some fantasy world where I want to hear about these things.

Secondly, the doctor who stopped seeing me sent me a text asking if we could be friends now. I didn't respond. Later in the day, I did drop off some things that she had left in my house (hoping that she wouldn't be there.) She was there, so we spoke for a moment, but it got very awkward very fast when she said to me, "So, you don't want to be my friend?" in a serious tone. I told her that I hadn't said that, but upon further reflection that comment really turned me off. It was just very manipulative as she was preying upon my niceness to try to get her desired result (the two of us hanging out). She had earlier told me that she would respect my decision not to continue on as friends, just as I respected her decision to stop seeing each other, but it seems clear to me that she doesn't respect it. She wants to get what she wants regardless of my desires. I have seen this sort of emotional manipulation in the distant past from ex-gfs, and have a hard time understanding the mentality behind it. I suppose if I am being honest I was probably emotionally manipulative with my W in the months prior to BD and just after it as well, as I thought I "deserved" her love and made her feel guilty for being unhappy or leaving me. I guess this is how it feels to be on the receiving end of it. If anything it strengthened my resolve to leave this short term relationship in the past and focus on the future.

On a positive note I have had some success in meeting women through OLD, and have three dates set up in the next few days. Hopefully one of them (and not more!) goes well and there is a connection!