Thanks, K. First, it's strange that we sometimes feel apologetic about talking about spiritual things. Myself, I don't accept orthodoxy as literal truth. I view religious beliefs as metaphors for humanity's wisdom passed through the ages. For me, religious practices reinforce this wisdom, which in turn modulates the emotional roller-coaster I am on during these trying times.
I too drifted from the faith that had meant so much to me. I have rediscovered this faith and I am never letting go again, regardless of this particular journey's outcome.
An integral part of my M is that this shared faith was what first drew W and I together. Similarly, I think part of our independent journeys, now that we are separated, is that each of us is trying to live more spiritually driven lives of integrity and wholeness.
I do not want to delude or manipulate W or myself. Therapist's advice to "let go and let God" is apt. I can hope W's journey brings her back to the tenets of our once-shared faith and its wisdom regarding M's sacramental nature. But her path forward is hers to discern.
I must accept that her path might lead her to a different destination from my desired one. Therapy sessions have been helpful in shining light into the dark areas that impede each of our paths. But once we are aware of these areas, I think each of us still needs courage to walk down the path most consistent with our individual souls. I continue to pray these paths eventually merge.
