Had a helpful therapy session with W. Therapist helpfully guided us to identifying the infinite loop hijacking our relationship. My end of the loop: I am anti-authoritarian and insistent that ALL emotions are okay; it's what we do about those emotions that counts. W's side: because of her familial history, she has trouble navigating complex emotions; plus there's a level of control she exerts on my emotions she deems unacceptable.
On Kiro's thread, there was an exchange about our need as LBS's to be patient and to not exert pressure. Therapist backed up that sentiment by explicitly advising me: "Sometimes you can't and shouldn't step in and try to fix something. Perhaps stepping back would allow God to enter into the space you share with W."
Afterwards, W and I continued the conversation over coffee.
Take-aways: (1) Patience, patience, patience. (2) Don't rush love. It will or will not be bestowed, regardless of anything I do or say.
Right now, I feel overwhelmed by my emotional, physical, and spiritual love for W. I do not see this being reciprocated right now. And it may never come. But I choose to wait for now. Ain't walking away. Not yet.
