I definately feel better than I was, the next few weeks are going to be a challenge at work as it will be very busy, but I have the knowledge that I can go on a trip once I finish there.
It's been an eventful week, started off at 7.45pm last Sunday with a text from h asking me if I had heard from s21, to which I replied no. The conversation continued for a while as it emerged that s21 did something very silly (not dangerous) and is suspended for work pending an investigation. After a couple of texts I ran out of things to say, it's hard to be cool, sympathetic and friendly when all I want to say is ". Welcome to the last 4 years of my life with no help from you, but now it's your turn I suddenly exsist again" but I didn't, just didn't reply. Next day the texts started early and continued throughout the day. Still on the subject of s21 - seriously, you are his dad, parent him. ..... Anywhoo, s21 was fired sigh, he has picked up some agency work until Christmas and then who knows, I don't worry too much, h needs to take responsibility for him.
Then today I went on a forklift course (passed it wooohoooo !!) I was so underprepared, only having had 15mins on a forklift at work yesterday ( this is the rubbish company I work for) but was really proud of myself for getting through the course and gaining another string to my bow. I took a photo of my certificate and sent it to S21, 2 minutes later h texts me "forklift licence eh? That's not something I ever thought I'd hear. (laughing emojis )" So s21 must have shown him my text photo, he beat s21 to a reply!! We ended up in a text conversation, but thankfully I was out tonight at a leaving do so I have not replied to his last one, again I really have nothing to say to him.
It feels good that I am able to show that I am doing just fine without him, I have achieved something that he never expected from me. I don't have any expectations of it being anything other than what it, some texts from him when it suits him. But it's hard not to let the mind wonder occasionally, "what if " and be a bit intrigued by this latest resurface. However I do come back to the person he is and how he has treated me pretty quickly, those scars have yet to fully heal.
So had a really lovely evening, a big group of us from work out for a leaving do drinks, lots of laughing and chatting, felt good to be social. I start my new days and hours next week, only 4 weeks left, really should start thinking about what's next at some point ..... Nah, why change, will probably just wing it as usual haha
