How can you convey it through your actions, instead of having a relationship conversation?
I am already doing some of the actions. I keep conversations short. I end calls first. I leave quickly when we exchange D4. In my conversations, I always make sure I talk about "we" as me and D4.
Originally Posted by sandi2
What are you doing while she's talking about these things? What do you mean she plans for when you go on dates?
I listen. I don't agree with her, nor do I disagree. I just acknowledge her statement. If she asks what I think, I respond with "I have not given it much thought. I am just thinking about tomorrow"
At BD, she told me that we should go out on dates, like she is doing. Shortly after, I tried to follow her advice because I foolishly felt that she knows what she is doing. I went on one date with someone and immediately stopped. It felt wrong. She dropped the me dating other people thing after she told we were not romantic anymore. The resulting summer was hell. She would sometimes angrily react about me trying to date from time to time. I stupidly told her a couple of months ago that I would want the house clean in case I wanted to bring a date back home (another temp check).
Originally Posted by sandi2
If you feel she is temp checking...….then how are you suppose to respond?
I don't. I just acknowledge she said it and move on from the subject.
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Explain how you plan to keep key holidays/celebrations cordial.
We have dinner, open presents, etc. as a family. I am giving her one gift for X-mas. Nothing for birthday likely. No anniversary gift. And I am not going to be around for my birthday. Nothing for V-day.
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So, Pain...….what are your short term goals here? How long do you intend to live under this strain? What do you plan to do about all that anger you feel? It's really unhealthy, you know.
I am going to continue to GAL. I still have my photo shoot planned for this weekend.
I don't know Sandi how much longer I am going to live like this. I know I am getting better at adapting to the awfulness of this sitch. And I know I don't intend on keeping this going as is. But I do know this...not pursuing R or D has allowed me to slow down and truly work on myself and make the necessary changes I had to make. I don't know what more patience will bring.
I am trying meditation, GAL, and exercising. They are helping. I am venting to my distant support system to help. And I am also pouring my guts here for you all to read.
I am really trying to get a grip on my anger. It's moved on from grief. I know the next step is bargaining, but I know that is useless. Depression next?
