The way you phrased it this time, about how she thinks you hung the moon, it almost seems like there might be something about the women with whom the LBS ends up. Maybe they are even MORE impressed that such a good person could have been hurt the way they were. Almost like, if you're "hard to get" then you're desirable, while if other women don't want you then you're less desirable in the eyes of other women, EXCEPT when the other woman is perceived by women as being silly to have given you up and freed you to be with the new one. So if a decent lady comes along and understands that you were left behind for what appear to be relatively minor issues (which you worked on in the meantime), then you become desirable in a way that makes it impossible for them to keep their hands off of you.
Very interesting thoughts. You know, honestly I have not talked about my marriage much (and in most cases, at all) to anyone I dated after S and here's why- one of the first (maybe the first) women I went out with after S asked me a lot of questions about my S and D and I explained things in great depth to her thinking she wanted clarity and to make sure I wasn't looking to bail on the next R. But then later she told me that I talked "so much" about it that she feared I was still attached to the ex and not ready for a new R. Lesson learned! From that point on I just didn't talk about it. If anyone asked I was just super brief, saying something like "we grew apart, she left, and that is now in the past and I want to focus on my future." Usually that was all it took, it wasn't brought up again.
I've never had confidence or self-esteem issues except for a few months after BD, and I got that back pretty quickly. A lot of the ladies I dated said that's what they found attractive, that I was strong, confident, a gentleman. I'm not trying to toot my own horn but rather just explain the traits that those women seemed to be looking for. You probably remember I mentioned before that I had trouble getting women my age to meet, so I ended up dating younger women as they were much more willing and available. And they routinely told me how guys their age had no respect for women, were very selfish, expected women to pay part (OR ALL!) of the meals or movie or whatever and fully expected sex right away. So meeting someone who was selfless and really listened to them and was kind to them and not distracted by a phone or video game was a breath of fresh air.
One funny thing is this one woman I dated flat-out called me a liar when I told her I had only been with my ex while we were married. She told me that men aren't and cannot be monogamous! I was like, "why would I lie about that?" I told her I just wasn't wired that way, I had no interest in having sex with multiple women. One good woman is just fine with me. She never did believe me, would bring it up now and then and ask if I "was ready to tell the truth." It's kind of aggravating to keep getting told you're a liar, so I quit seeing her, LOL!
Another amusing story, one woman refused to believe I was divorced. Thought I was having an affair with her. I invited her to my house (it's pretty obvious I'm not sharing my bedroom or bathroom with anyone), she accepted, and I showed her the D paperwork. I think she finally believed me after that, haha!
I know a lot of you miss sex. I'll just flat out tell you that after my D and during my dating I had some seriously wild sex escapades. I mean it was like "Dear Hustler, I never thought I would be writing you but..." kind of stuff. Things that would make a porn star blush. And in places you've probably only fantasized about. And we're talking beautiful, sexy women too. My sex life during M was pretty plain vanilla because my ex liked it that way, she's a creature of routine. I'm very adventurous though, and I learned there are a lot of adventurous women out there that absolutely love an adventurous man. So yeah, I had some WILD times. I still do with my GF, we have a very active sex life. So whenever I read LBH's talking about how much they wish their wife would have pity sex with them I think "oh man if you only knew what is out there for the taking, you wouldn't be wasting your time begging for crumbs."
