Is she doing any therapy right now? From what you wrote, her actions sound about right, but she probably needs some help in processing and figuring all of this out. And if after some therapy sessions over a few months, she still wants to recon, and you're amenable to it, I would suggest that you find a good MC to explore the possibility of recon and see if it's actually going to be feasible. If reading the recon threads has taught me anything, this is a long long road and somehow way harder than dealing with BD and the aftermath.
