[Wanted1]

The part that is so utterly and absolutely confusing to me is why my WW wouldn't at least consider trying to work on things even if it were just for the kids.

Why is it confusing to you? It's because you are trying to use logic and reason with an emotional human being. It's best for the kids. (logical) You won't lose half the time with the kids (logical). You will lose half your assets (logical). That is how you see things. She is unhappy right now and she feels she will never be happy staying with you. These are her feelings RIGHT NOW and you trying to prevent her from her "happiness". More of the same behavior from you in her mind.

I know, I know. Logic. I just can't wrap my head around someone not taking "logic" and "reason" into account for anything. With that said, I understand the concept of emotions guiding everything with her and logic not playing a part at all. I get the concept. I just don't get how someone can totally disregard one in favor of the other, I guess. Not sure if that makes sense or not.....hard to put into words.

Whatever, I'm done trying to understand it because I never will.

This is part of the problem. You don't understand women and you will continue to struggle until you do.

I'm not going to be naive and say I understand women, because I don't think I totally do. However, I don't think I'm completely ignorant about them either. I will say, though, I don't understand the WW mentality at all! I wonder if I should read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.....maybe that would help me for the future.

She tries to justify it with lame attempts at telling me the kids will be better off but everyone in their right mind knows that's just BS.

This is actually true if you both end up in loving relationships down the road.

I get what you are saying, but "better off" doesn't really make sense to me. My kids are young enough that they have no clue what's going on right now. She's been living in the basement for 3 months and they still don't know or have caught on. They think everything is hunky dorie. It's going to be a major BD on them when we have to tell them she's moving out. I am NOT looking forward to that conversation at all. They adore their mother and are constantly wondering when she will get home now that she's at the new job and gets home later. I'm not sure they are going to be "better off" when our relationship hasn't affected them negatively at all. Also, I don't believe any kid is better off only seeing one parent each 50% of the time. I'd understand if we were constantly fighting, arguing and abusive in front of them, but that isn't the case in my situation.

Her unwillingness to at least try now that I admit and own my own shortcomings. Something I haven't been able to realize in the past.

What are these said shortcomings you speak of?

Typical "guy/male" tendencies: Not wanting to open up and talk about my emotions and feels. (Boy have I done a 180 on that these past 3 months!) General communication barriers/issues that I intend to work on and fix and have been trying to already. A little hard to do that/implement when you have no one to communicate with though! I think that goes both ways for my W and I though. We've never really been great at communicating. I plan to work on my end, it's up to her to figure out her side. I have some NGS in me, as well. Covert contracts were a big part of my mentality I realize now. I would freeze her out if she didn't initiate anything in the form of physical touch. Then I would get all frustrated when it had gone on for awhile and confront her about it. Stuff like that. Mainly all communication problems which are entirely fixable! And I want to fix them!

Maybe God needs us to both go our separate ways for awhile to work on ourselves so that if R is an option we aren't back in this same situation again and we come back renewed, refreshed and recommitted to each other.

Very well could be. Now open the cage door Wanted!

The door has been opened and is swaying in the breeze now.