Most people will say it is when they file for D, and see it through to the end. In my opinion, D doesn't have to be the end. Some spouses are more impulsive and will D before their heart is fully in it, and therefore there is a chance for them to come back even after D.

But when it collapses is when the LBS has pressured and pursued to the point where they've pushed the WAS past the point of no return. You never really know when that is. That would require mind reading. But what you know for sure is that pressure and pursuit will cause damage and push the WAS closer to that point of no return. So don't chance it.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018