Do i need to stop going? At least when W is not with me? I asked W this once and she said "no, it's fine", but... IDK. Let me repeat: I have no designs here and, due to our own experiences, i am well aware of where the lines are and plan to stay well back of them.
But the bartender has designs on you!
Remember how you felt when your W would stay after work for wine in the doctor's office? Although she may not have been interested in the doctor, you still weren't comfortable with it......and didn't really trust the doc. And, you suspect the doctor still has a thing for your W.
Women can read other women. Don't ask your W if you need to stop going to the bar! W's aren't good at sharing their honest feelings about those type of jealousy questions......b/c they don't want to be seen as petty or jealous. Therefore, even though your W is clearly......very clearly...…..uncomfortable with the bartender's flirting, why in heaven's name would you continue going there??? It's the same scenario as the doc having designs on your W.
Show honor and sensitivity to your W by not going to that bar anymore. Seriously!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
