Dude, you sound depressed to me. AS it's winter time - do you have a history of getting the winter blues? Should you be taking vitamin D, using a light box? Both are great for seasonal depression.
I think you'll have a fine time on the cruise, just make sure to get enough alone time if you can.
And I'll reiterate - I think the real reason why you are feeling this way is because you started to WANT something, and since that didn't quite materialize, you're back in a slump of thinking you don't need it anyway.
Yes, dating is work but you do have a lot to offer the right woman, and you seem to enjoy the company of a woman. Don't give up so easily.
