Now I came to wonder. One of the things, that WW told me on more than on occasion was: "I wanted to spend time with you, but you prioritized everything and everyone else", "I just wanted to sit on the couch with you and watch a movie, but you never found time, or always had an apology", "I wanted to cuddle up in blankets with you in the livingroom, but you never wanted to, and always refused saying it was too warm or you didn't feel like it".
I can see how not giving her cake-eating opportunities with me as long as she is with another man makes the most sense. But I also think, she told me straight up, what she really was longing for, and what I didn't provide, and definitely do not at this time.
This can be confusing to a lot of newcomers, and also when they are first learning about 180's. First, let me try to clear up something. This was her complaint about you in the MR However, it is not the deal breaker at this point. Understand? You have a WW now. You could spend every waking minute with her and cuddle till you turned blue and it would not change her cold heart, b/c it's not what's currently wrong in the MR. Her waywardness is what's wrong, and your NGS is an issue.
Secondly, her "complaints" at this time should not be a primary concern for you. And 180's are not about trying to fix her complaints while she is wayward. 180's can be about a lot of things that have nothing to do with her.
If and when she ends her waywardness, and the two are you are working on your R, you'll be able to spend quality time and snuggle to your heart's content.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
