So I spoke with my IC. He suggested that I write WW an email expressing how I am hurt and expressing how I think she feels. IC suggested that I tell WW how I feel in email.
When worlds collide! This is one of those instances where conventional counseling and DB'ing do not align. It's not wrong to write that letter for YOU but you don't want to send it, because once she walked away she ceased to care about your feelings. All she cares about right now is HER feelings.
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I have done this to an extent in person and through text. What would be the value of doing this? I already have a constant urge to email/text her. I stop myself because I feel that is pursuit.
You are correct, it also looks desperate, needy and clingy to a WAS. Obviously that's not attractive.
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I don't want to move out to punish her. I just want to get away from her at this point.
I can understand that. But I think it's too soon. First, you should only leave if you are well and truly done with her. Like, fully detached and rope dropped. Because if you're doing it just thinking it'll make you heal faster or be happier then consider this: I've seen LBS's here leave the house only to see their WAS move an OM in right behind them. So there the LBS is, living in a small, cramped apartment or even on a friend's couch or parents' basement or whatever, and the WAS is sitting by a cozy fire with OM toasting champagne to the fool that is funding their escapades. Are you detached to the point where you could see that play out and it not bother you? Second, why should YOU be the one that is severely inconvenienced by this? Now maybe the circumstances are unusual like you live in a house she owned before M so it belongs to her, but in most cases the LBS should not move out and should not leave the MBR because it sends a message of strength to the WAS.
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WW is constantly looking for little things like my FB posts etc to get mad at me about and when she finds things she doesnt like she always says something like "you want everyone to hate me, see you don't want to fix this!" WW is constantly trying to find stuff to convince herself that I just want to make her look bad and that I don't want to R.
Yeah some WAS's do behave like that. No matter what the LBS does the WAS finds reasons to pick at them. That's her problem, you just keep doing you.
