YS has been fussy today and not been into naps. After bath and feeding, while W puts OS to sleep, I walked YS around to try to get him to sleep. He eventually does, and I lay him down in pack-and-play.
I tell W this, and then she rattles off for me a whole laundry list of things that she needs to do. Pack OS’ lunch, wash bottles, sweep and mop, etc.
I ask her what she needs help with. She asks me what, if anything, I am available to do tonight, because I’ve been looking rather preoccupied to her (which is true—have tons of grading to get done, but I’ve also tried detaching, and walking the fine line between detaching and being cold, coming home later, coming home the last 2 nights in workout clothes). She mentioned that I’ve been acting kinda weird for the last week, and if I’m okay. I tell her ‘Everything’s great,’ to which she responds ‘yeah that totally did not sound sincere at all.’ I told her ‘Everything’s good. I’ll go vacuum the living room,’ I turn around and walk out. And so I did a few of the chores on the list. But yeah that ‘Everything’s good’ was Oscar-worthy performance on my part.
To be fair, if I really wanted to drop the rope with her, I could have / should have just left her to her own devices after she rattled off the list of chores. I bent over backwards spring, summer and early fall taking care of her and family to get ready for YS, and in Oct. she tells me that it’s still not good enough. I really should have just walked away and said ‘that’s unfortunate.’ Oh, well. But she has noticed a change.
If I’ve been acting weird, then what the h*** has her act been the last 10 months or so? ILYBINILWY BD? Talk about taking a break or S? Denying sex and telling me many couples don’t have as much sex after having a child, while having sex toys nearby or in the showers? Her being all withdrawn? And I’M THE ONE who needs to be looked at? ‘Believe nothing they say.’
