Exactly. WAS's will often be friendly, even overly friendly after BD. This can confuse the LBS and make them think maybe the WAS has had a change of heart. That usually leads to a temperature check and the LBS getting BD'd all over again. The reality is the WAS does this to "soften the blow" and/ or make the S and D process go smoother (they hope).
This was the sitch over spring and summer, except for the temp check on my end (have NOT done that at pretty much any point). Things were good for the most part, and I thought we were somewhat out of the woods, and then 1 month after YS was born, she floats idea of potential ‘break’ or separation.
But within the past couple of weeks I’ve let go of most of the rope on my end and have stopped asking for sex / intimacy after getting shot down.
I know getting WAY ahead of myself for something that may never happen, but....(I’m not good emotionally in the moment, so I need to have talking points to work from already prepared and relatively rehearsed so I’m not deer in the headlights)
I’ve thought about a S /D BD from her—and what I could / would say in response, just to prepare self. I’ve seen something to the effect of from Steve ‘I think what we have can be saved if we put the work in. A marriage requires 2 to be committed, but only takes 1 to separate or divorce. While I disagree with it, I cannot and will not stop you from separating or divorcing. However, I will do nothing to help you leave me either because I am morally opposed to it.’ And then at that point I would tell her that she can start by sleeping out in the living room.
But yeah, all this feels like pure torture. It feels like somewhat like an IHS, though not official. Ugh.
