Brave Little Gerda, So Chilled She Could Not Speak

[Rita]

Peacetoday, your post here has meant a lot to me in the last weeks. I haven't been able to post much but I read yours over many times. THANK YOU for understanding me, it means a lot.

[sjohns6]

Wow, Gerda. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now, as if you weren't going through enough before. It sounds like you are handling yourself really well despite the circumstances. I think you are on the brink of a new beginning here. I see you as a phoenix rising from the smoldering ashes of your former life, newer and stronger and prepared to soar with grace and dignity. Once this time has passed you will be able to look back with confidence that you handled yourself in a way you can be proud of. I'm proud of you!!

((Gerda))

[peacetoday]

Sorry you have so much going on right now-
just continue to take good care of you

We can only do so much and only give our best
I know it is hard to navigate through the wreckage of a MLC husband and business

Gods got your back
the storms will pass and new will come

[job]

Gerda,

My head is spinning with all that you are dealing with. I am so sorry that you are having to carry such a large load, i.e., the business. It's never easy when having to deal w/a person who just doesn't get it when it comes to business dealings, i.e., especially when it involved a MLCer.

I am praying that things will settle down for you. As peace pointed out, you have to take good care of yourself. Try to carve out a bit of time for yourself and just breathe! I am very concerned for you and your health.

Please, please take care of yourself as much as possible.

[marina7]

Gerda,

I understand when you say you want to
hide under a rock....

Gerda hun, I'll tell you what my little Trios
have told me.

If nemo did it Gerda you can too
You must keep on swimming, swimming swimming

Until you get where God wants you.

God has his plans, he wants to make sure you don't
lose faith.

Is hard yes, it feels like we keep emptying the bucket
And the bucket keeps filling, faster than you can empty it ok.

I promise and know God has his plan. Just keep swimming

And is ok to just lay in bed oneday. We all have had those days
We don't want to get out. I remember thinking

I have so much to do. And my therapist taken my hand and saying
Is going be there tomorrow, the day after tomorrow. So if you need
To just stay in your bed is ok.

And the week W had them I did exactly that. It was the best thing I
did for myself.

You and I have a high functioning monster Mlcers.

They are horrible. Just stay away. Stay low always.
As my therapist also told me for now until court is over
Don't poke the bear..

Oh trust me is hard because I also want to yell like this weekend
When W tries to destroy trio's Santa is real spirit.
But as I stated I drove off. I wanted to scream and curse but why
All I am doing is upsetting myself and kids while W got what she wanted.

So always remember put God first and he will do the rest.

Remember
One day at a time

[Rita]

Marina, it's so hard with the kids. I can bear any cross myself with God's help but giving my kids a cross is usually unbearable for me. My son especially is bearing this cross, he is suffering so much and doing so many bad things as his way of expressing it.

The other day I was praying in a cathedral next to a pieta, just asking Mary to protect my son and help me understand her grief in having to give up her own son so that I would not be alone in my grief, so I could understand what she understands about that mystery of having to trust God so much that you surrender your own child to his care, and I started crying like crazy. I was on my knees and had my hands on Mary's hands and Christ's feet and I was crying with my head against the pieta, totally inside my own prayer with my eyes closed. When I opened my eyes and stood up, there was a woman standing there watching me. She had been waiting until I was done so that she could come over and give me a huge hug. She said, "It's going to be okay. God is listening to you. He loves you." And all around me the stained glass windows seemed to be flaring up with light and I walked out into the busy street and felt God's presence all around me.

[marina7]

Gerda,

Wow, crying as I read your post.

I can't imagine the pain your feeling for
your child.

What works for me is, just remind S
Am here S for you.

There's a new movie coming out
"Ben is back"
Just watching the trailer has me
In tears. It shows the love of a mother.

I need to prepare myself as I see s10
Angry, shuts Down, tells me
I don't wanna feel
Feeling get you in trouble

I must just listen when s10 says this
in reality I want s10 to speak up say
W is hurting me or something.

S10 doesn't say nothing.
My therapist said remind
S 10 am here am fighting for you.

But there are challenges for us
LBS kids.

Is like a cycle repeating itself
And I can't protect them.
The law is horrible for these kids

I have spoken up, I have emailed
100's of emails, and nothing.

Even when s9 was hurt by W
I thought they would protect
All kids I was told well we visited
I ask ok did you speak with s10
Yes he says he is ok.
Was W there Yes.

Ummmm hello why ask a child
In front of the abuser is W also
Hurting you.
Hello my s is not going to talk


I simply don't understand the system
Especially in USA it's horrible

I am like you I am holding
On to God and ask him
Please protect my 3 kids.

I have gave God my children's

You now have given s to God
Now send s a text just reminding
S am here.

S will remember this Why I know
My step mom just took a step back
And always reminding me as a child am
Here. When I was old enough step mom
I reached out too and here we are 20 plus years
Later. That's my mommy to everyone
I introduce mom too and she knows it.

Till this day she was also my safety person
and still is.

[peacetoday]

Im sorry Gerda
I don't know the full story but it seems like you have strong faith
God is a miracle worker-nothing is too big for our God

I love to hear stories such as that woman waiting for you to finish so she can hug you
our world is filled with goodness
A praying mother for her child is a powerhouse and I see and hear so many miracles

I understand your prayer to turn your s over to God- I get it-


MY S is 17 and he had a rough patch with severe acne for the past 4 years
no medicine worked and these past few years have been difficult for him
We are almost to acceptance and while skin is not totally healed -he seems ok with it- HE seems stronger
He learned many things like discipline , eating better, exercise and went to therapy to help him deal with it-
Its probably a blessing in disguise- despite the scars
he talks about becoming a natural doctor to help others-
While the lesson of acne took his adolescence from him-it also gave him something he could probably get no other way

Our God is a powerful God

[Gordie]

Gerda

God hears your prayers

I am praying for you too

We all are

[Rita]

Gordie, I love what you wrote. Those four simple lines meant so much! Posting a question today, maybe you can weigh in too, with your dad wisdom.