LBS dealing with WW (part 6)

[Joe2017]

Last thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2775397&page=1

So in part 5 of my saga the last thing Nicole asked me:

I wanted to ask you about the timing of your ex-wife's apology. Do you think her relationship ended with her boyfriend (or whatever you would call him) and that's why she finally woke up and realized what she did? Also when you and she discussed potentially being friends did she take any follow-up action after that? Have you heard from her since then? Has she tried to communicate with your son? It'd be interesting to hear more.

The answer is that yes, the relationship with her OM ended. It happened back in July, when she sent me the first temp check post D. I ignored it. She sent me several more in August. All ignored. Then again in September. Ignored. October was skipped. More temp checks in November. Ignored those too.

I didn’t respond until December, when she finally wrote an apology. Yes, I ignored her temp checks for five months until she was able to structure them in a way that had substance. I don’t have time for games.

I’m not sure what you mean by follow-up action after that. Yes, I have heard from her since then. We have spoken several times. Here’s where you all can analyze this stuff...

We had a very long conversation where we discussed how bad it was at the end. It’s obvious that she’s done a lot of reflection, because she started to describe herself and her mindset when she was a raging WW. She told me she was unexplainably selfish and egotistical. She felt like she was better than me, and that she deserved more. She felt like she was on to top of the world, and that everything revolved around her. She left me for OM because it was new and exciting, even though he was an unattractive a$shole. She just felt like she was better than everyone else for no reason and could just get whatever she wanted any time.

She unknowingly described herself using all of the the traits of a wayward spouse.

She said she lost sight of what was important because all of a sudden she didn’t know who she was anymore. She thought she was some sort of super magnificent specimen, but she says that she really ended up being a piece of $ht person who threw away everything good about her life. And she did it to herself. She told me that she wanted me to know that it wasn’t me, and that I always gave her what she wanted and needed, even when she didn’t know what those things were. That I treated her like a goddess but she just didn’t care for some reason.

She gave me all of the details of what transpired with OM, and a fling she had after him... I mean, very openly admitting that she was doing some things that were out of character, but not in a way that was trying to hurt me (like before). She explained that she wanted to be completely open and honest about everything. And she answered every question I asked with no hesitation. The OM basically ruined her financially and was abusive. He brought her down to having nothing left.

She wants a chance to talk to my son to apologize and tell him the same kind of things. I told her that I will have to ask him and see if that’s even something he wants to do, and she understands how hard it is for him to deal with what she did. I do have permission to contact her son now, and we are going to meet up soon to catch up on things.

And that’s where we are now.