Although I pretty much violated a cardinal rule of DB’ing, and that is NO EXPECTATIONS.
I was kinda hoping for sex / intimacy tonight, but I didn’t do anything with that in mind—but it sure would have been nice. I guess I should be grateful I got an acknowledgment of our anniversary, mention of a gift, and affirmation of dinner plans.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that W goes from wanting sex so much to virtually not wanting it (at least, with me). IC says that resentment can do that. I bet. I’m also sure that any depression she may feel plays a role, and I bet breast-feeding YS doesn’t help.
One thing I brought up to IC is: either she’s physically not right down there after pregnancy, she’s emotionally not right, or she’s weaponizing sex against me. None of these are appealing options to consider.
Welp. I’ll wait for someone who wants to have sex with me (not just out of pity or obligation or being a Plan B or even Plan C), and make myself attractive regardless.
GAL: Look into Knights of Columbus, social outings for sports (playing / watching), continue exercising, do sit-ups and push-ups, ask a dad of one of OS’ former classmates to get together to watch sports, and look at reconnecting with a friend / groomsman (I lack good strong Catholic men in my life, and we drifted apart, which I feel so guilty about).
