13 years and 2 kids pt. 3.

[Hurt213]

Journal:

So I was in bed, doing some finances on my pc, and I noticed that ww had withdrawn 375 dollars from a mutual account we have house expenses such as things for the kids etc. However, we agreed when we split our finances, that this account wouldn't be touched unless we both agreed on it.

I know I shouldn't confront or upset the creature, however I went into the living room, and asked why she had made a withdrawal without informing me. She then became real upset, and said she had spent money from her personal account and was just "getting back" what was hers. She hadn't informed me because I was in MBR (yea thats a 5 feet walk for you my dear). I said, I didn't want to argue, and that I could understand that she would want her money if she had spent out of own pocket when she was not supposed to - however, I would like to just get an overview of said spendings.

So we sat down, and the thing is, I know for a fact, that she is struggling financially, and she is going to travel with OM, she needs to buy presents for the kids and her family, and I am 100% positive, she just tried to finance that with said withdrawal. However, we no longer share anything but that account, and therefore she is not spending anything on my goodwill anymore.

So she made list of what she had spent money on and there were some real fictional posts on that paper, but I don't want to argue, and told her that if I had come off as trying to blame her, that was not my intention, I just wanted things to be clean and right, and money was a subject that could really get people going, so I didn't want her and I to go there.
The numbers in general weren't big, so I just let it slide this time - I think she learned her lesson, and I think behind the "you are an idiot attitude", she is embarrassed that I caught her trying to take the money.

I calculated her spendings versus her withdrawal and made her redeposit 195 dollars, which she had withdrawn and had not spent on kids / household items.

She then proceeded to say, that she think I should be buying food since she was embarrassed of the way she had handled that. I couldn't agree anymore, but just said we both had a responsibility for that as long as we lived together, and that I didn't blame her. I then said, I would do the groceries from here on out if that was what she thought was best financially.

She then wanted us to lower the budget for the kids christmas presents by more than 70%. I was baffled, but I know, it is because she can't afford them. She said "the kids are so small and they will get so many presents from extended family, that they won't care". I was like... I will, and we will stick to the budget we agreed on (its not my fault that she will rather spend money on vacation with OM than presents for her kids).

So I know not to argue, engage conversation and so forth, but yea, I feel like I handled this the only way I could without letting it get out of control.

After this, im positive, she won't be taking money from the account again before asking / telling me (got a sms alert on it anyways now). However I do believe she feels like im an idiot, and it didn't benefit my sitch in particular?


/h