Bo...as Deja says we are all right there with you. we each have our dates that trigger us and all of those thoughts/what ifs like you do. as was told to me when i first got here, what we fight against is the lost of control in our lives...we were going along just fine and then BAM what we knew is all gone. we want back what we had to regain that control in our lives...i think the longer our sitches go, the more we get away from that cling to the past feeling and then that opens us up to both positive possibilities but great fear/worry. it is that fight within ourselves that we each must go through and man i can tell you even 10 months into my sitch my fight goes on.
many of my best teachers were those men/women of experience. those who not only could tell me about WWII, but also lived it and through it. i would challenge you when you are with your students today to keep that in mind. not that you have to spill your guts out on your sitch to them, but you can provide to them a thoughtful discussion on the topic perhaps more so than someone who has not gone through what you have. maybe more of an open ended discourse where the students can debate/talk through their thoughts on the topic. who knows their inputs/opinions may do your troubled soul much good.
and yes, come what may you are still very much a young man with lots of future in front of you. no one can know what the future holds for us, but if your wife departs then you have the gift of time and freedom to plot your new course. there's no pressure to figure it out all at once. give yourself the grace of time and let it come to you in due time.
