True standing starts when you are at this point, where you could just walk away.
Stand!
Keep moving forward, but stand. Let things settle down within your emotional self, the other feelings that seem so large. Make your decision not based on feelings.
Do not look so far out into the future. Yes reconciliation is a very long process. You do not need to decide today. Just give yourself some time.
As usual, I agree with DnJ.
Even Gerda the nun has been tempted of late by someone who has been helping me amazingly with biz problems and divorce procedure stuff and who I dated briefly in my 20's. I have found myself in late-night situations that could have gone way south of standing and managed to extricate myself. I'm not sure I know of anyone on these boards as devoted to standing through unforgivable behavior as I am, and so willing to surrender herself to God's will, and this kind of crush and temptation and confusion happens to me too. It even happens to me on these boards, where -- let's admit it -- all of us get to get comfort from each other with an intensity that would in person be rather questionable for a stander.
DnJ is right, don't go by your feelings, otherwise known as the flesh. That flesh is stretchy and flammable. Wait and watch. Forgive yourself. Cry and punch things. If you don't pray, talk to the universe. Out loud. Under the trees like DnJ or wherever you can feel the universe. Remember that you have many friends here who admire you, who completely and totally understand your pain and your confusion, your hope and your despair. Whatever you are going through, we are too. Those who believe it's okay to date can see you aren't ready to date.
Whatever you decide, we love you.
I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord with courage. Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
