Bo - Yes. Light = Hope, Peace, Joy. Reengaging in my faith has been so healing. I'm thankful for the people God has placed in my path to help me along.
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So, I've been anxious about Christmas. I've been thinking a lot about what I want as far as having H participate in our usual family rituals. i had no idea what he was assuming about Christmas - whether he was automatically invited to our home to do our normal family Christmas. And I'm so very tired about making all the plans and smoothing things over with the kids. So, I took charge and put the ball in his court.
The kids are going to meet him near his work for lunch tomorrow. They also want to see their Grandma's gravesite, whom we buried this week. That's sweet. It's near Hs work. After much discussion with a trusted friend, I decided to message H:
M: "The kids mentioned they will be seeing you tomorrow. maybe you can discuss with them what arrangement you want to make to see them at Christmas." H: Meaning? You don't want me over on xmas? [as usual, making me be the bad buy and make decisions] M: I suggested you discuss it with the kids because I have no idea what YOU want. I want you to be free to make your own decisions about how and when you see the kids. We can discuss this if you want. you can call me or we can meet.
I have had no response.
I have no idea if this was the DBing thing to do. I don't even know if I have a WAS, MCLr, or something else, so this navigation doesn't fall in a neat sequence of events. I offered an olive branch for H to stay in the home the month of December (in spare bedroom). He chose not to. I think he now needs to face some of the realities of his decision to not commit to the M and family.
