Dealing with a WW Pt3

[Davide]

SoTorn,

It's good that you are getting out of the house. That is incredibly important, and I loved the way you handled her question.

I hear you about feeling the need to get out. My W BDed me and I left the very next day even though she didn't ask me to. I just knew that living with her in that context would have driven me mad. I couldn't have taken it. I moved out and didn't see her again for a month, and then only saw her twice in the following 3 months. That said, I got lucky because I was able to work out a deal with my W which let me move back into the house. Basically she realized that she was the one leaving the MR and so it wasn't fair to ask me to leave the house. I gave her a couple of months to find a place while I road-tripped across the country and then I moved back in to an empty house. I can state unequivocally that the distance and time away from her helped immensely with my healing. I wouldn't have made the progress I have made up to this point without that time and space. I hated it for the first few months, but it was undeniably good for me.

That said, I had a very particular situation and a very reasonable W. Legally you are WAY better off staying in your home and waiting for her to leave. That is why all the old-hands on here recommend it. Definitely don't make a rash, emotional decision to leave (like I did.) Do your research and also try to figure out when/if she is going to leave.