Basically, W asked me to show my cards and I did. I am not dating, not dating anytime soon, when I do I will date younger because I can, and I have zero intention of getting married again. In this convo W tried to give me rules for dating, and future R. She also said she was not dating and staying single to heal. Do I believe her?
No, you cannot believe anything she says. You can't trust her. The WW wants to control her H's life, even after they split. She wants to be able to whatever she pleases, and she wants to eat cake.....a lot of cake. She wants her H to stay emotionally attached and available to her, but she doesn't want to be his W. The only reason she would be interested is if she thought she was losing him. It is her selfishness, jealousy, and manipulation that drives her to be this way.
You should never show the WW your cards. This is not the girl you M. She is not your friend. You basically assured her that you would always carry a torch for her and not date anyone. At least, I'm pretty sure that's how she heard it. She doesn't get to set rules for your life. Period.
Stop sharing personal information with her about your intentions, your feelings, etc. You can't interact with her as though the two of you were in a loving relationship. Not now, anyway.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
