Sandi's Reflections - Part 2

[Twofeet]

Originally Posted by sandi2

She doesn't want you, but she doesn't want you finding interest in someone else. She doesn't want you happy with some OW. She wants to replace you with OM, but she doesn't want you replacing her.

I know you’ve probably talked about this before but it still baffles me. Especially because of Twofeet’s recent convo with his W, which sounds very similar to a convo I had with my W (and yes, both of us were breaking DB protocol, unfortunately). We both got a response like, “Yes, it’s fine for you to date other people, I want you to be happy.” So are they lying/manipulating when they say that? Very curious to learn more about this if you have time.

They are b.s.ing the H when they say this stuff. TwoFeet basically told his W what she wanted to hear, and he should not believe a word that she told him. Look, it's one thing for the WW to tell her H she wants him to date and be happy. But it's quite another thing when she actually experiences losing him. When does she actually lose him? Usually, for her, it's when another woman takes her place in his life. Until then, the WW selfishly wants to be his one true love that he never got over. She doesn't want another woman replacing her in his life. (But it's okay for her to replace him.) She still feels that she has some control over him. Sometimes she even causes trouble when he's married again, b/c she still tries to keep him attached to her. It is her selfishness, jealousy and control/manipulation at play.....not love.

So, believe none of what she says.

Hey Sandi,

Please read my sitch if you haven't and give me your thoughts to where I am at currently with my sitch.

Basically, W asked me to show my cards and I did. I am not dating, not dating anytime soon, when I do I will date younger because I can, and I have zero intention of getting married again. In this convo W tried to give me rules for dating, and future R. She also said she was not dating and staying single to heal. Do I believe her? Well on face value it could be true, but not likely. If she isn't dating she is probably at the least putting out feelers and exploring options. Why else would she BD me so out of the blue and rush to move out and D me at lightning speed? If there isn't a specific OM she might get a reality check on how hard the dating scene is in my area for someone with her prospects. The very least she will probably find out how low she will need to drop her standards. Who knows I could be dead wrong, it is not for me to decide. My problem is that I had a convo I shouldn't have had and now its knocked me back down and I am grieving hard all over again.