First off she is in control and I get the sense from you that you are a control freak (something for IC). You think that you telling her is gonna give you the control back which of course it is not it will most likely make matters worse.
Second without any doubt your W knows you will take her back with open arms. Unfortunately you have showed her with ACTIONS that she can treat you anyway and you will take her back. It is most likely gonna take years of ACTIONS on your part to convince her otherwise.
You can get the control back down the line when you get to a place where you decide what ACTIONS your wife has to do to earn another chance with you.
In my sitch I did what was best for everyone involved and kept it amicable and I was rewarded with my ex taking less for the equity in the house and less in child support.
Accept this is gonna happen and do what's best for your kids. You will survive this and thrive if you choose.
