W then wanted to talk about dating. She wanted to know if I was dating or planned on it. I said no, not anytime soon. TF dont be afraid to date she says. I say I am improving myself, focusing on my friends, family, kids, work and my side business. I said I am building my empire, and I dont have time for OP in the near future. She said she wasn't dating right now cause she is still M to me, but wants to wait a while to be alone and figure her stuff out. She asks about my plans again I said I am never getting M again, you saw the stats in the class. I say 70% of second M in D, just not worth it. W says you cant tell OP that. I said yes I can, otherwise if they don't like it we are wasting time. W says she will probably never M as well, doesn't want to risk assets or trauma to the kids. She talks about online dating and is avoiding it. I say yes haven't heard good things. Also talked about hookup culture and modern dating scene. I say my morals are R first sex later, but many of the guys I know say no sex after 3 dates means woman gets dumped. My friends in CA (both guys and girls) are telling me it's more like 1 to 2 is standard for their area. This scared W and disgusted her. She says a coworker who is single with kids told her she effed up and W should have worked it out with me. She says the dating scene for divorced moms like them is garbage and they are just going to end up alone, all the good men are married or dont date women like them. I say sorry about that, but the hard truth is you are 35, 3 young kids, W interjects with fat and ugly, I say I always found you beautiful. Anyway your prospects aren't great, you are going to be dating older dudes, most likely divorced dudes. I say the women I talked to say I am handsome and will be able to date ladies in there 20's. W tries to tell me who I can date and how young I say ok I can understand how you feel that way.
Sorry about your sitch, TF.
While I haven’t been hit with S / D bomb (at least not yet), I often think about the dating scene, too. Wonder what part of Cali your friends are in (we’re in SoCal, Orange County).
And I tell myself that despite the problems and issues I have, I still think W has it pretty decent with me, especially W/R/T a lot of other men out there (unless there is an OM—at least not one I’m aware of). I also wonder to myself how many men would put up with W, anyway if she left: gives H the boot, has 2 small kids under 6, she loves to travel for work and spend many nights out late for work, and it’s not like her teeth are in that great of shape anyway (though I married her in spite of it and have put $ and time in to her working on that).
Of course I could be in complete denial about everything, too. But I also know that I deserve a whole lot better—either from her, or maybe someone else down the road if she decides to nuke everything.
