Sandi's Reflections - Part 2

[Davide]

Originally Posted by sandi2
She doesn't want you, but she doesn't want you finding interest in someone else. She doesn't want you happy with some OW. She wants to replace you with OM, but she doesn't want you replacing her.

I know you’ve probably talked about this before but it still baffles me. Especially because of Twofeet’s recent convo with his W, which sounds very similar to a convo I had with my W (and yes, both of us were breaking DB protocol, unfortunately). We both got a response like, “Yes, it’s fine for you to date other people, I want you to be happy.” So are they lying/manipulating when they say that? Very curious to learn more about this if you have time.

This resonates with me as well. My W has clearly replaced me with OM, but is worried that she will "lose me" which seems to be in reference to another woman. I don't think it is necessarily lying or manipulative (though it could be.) At least in my sitch I see it as my W wanting her freedom but also wanting the connection which we forged over the years. It seems like cake-eating but almost unconscious cake-eating. There is no recognition of what it is on her part. Of course, I have never talked to my W about dating other people because it is none of her damn business at this point what I do. However, I think the idea is the same.