[Wanted1]

W,

You know I'm not gonna blow sunshine up your ass.

You're being totally selfish. Why do you come to the board when you don't listen to the advice given? You couldn't just be you had to tell her you were going to look at furniture to get a reaction out of her.

Being strong for your kids by detaching and GALing for the next three weeks isn't being a doormat. You have been a doormat but now isn't the time. It's called putting your kids first. You're like a little kid pouting if you don't want to play the game the way I want to play that you need to go home.

I lived with my ex for a year and a half until she got a house because that is what was best for EVERYBODY involved.

You're spinning out of control and will do more damage. Stop and breathe and just let go.

Man, I get it. I truly admire your patience and willingness to do that for that long. I can’t imagine doing it for essentially 6x longer than I’ve been at it.

You’re right. I did tell her about the furniture to see what her response would be. You know what? She came hustling in to talk for the first time ever since BD. I sensed her feeling like she’s losing control. She feels in control because it’s her decision to leave. She feels in control because I told her she has to file, I’m not. And I still won’t. She felt in control by thinking she could decide to move out when it worked best for her. Not anymore. I took my b@lls back by telling her I want her out as soon as possible.

Does that mean she can still dictate when she moves out? Yes. I can’t force her too. But she knows that I want her gone now. I told her I’d talk to my IC on Monday to get her thoughts on making the transition before Christmas. I’m going to honor my word and if she tells me it’s a bad idea then I’ll accept it and I understand that my desires and feelings should take a backseat to what’s best for my kids. They always will.

This whole time I’ve given off the impression to my W that I’d probably welcome her back with open arms. At least my actions portrayed that even though that’s not the case. Not so much in the last 2 weeks or so, but I’m sure she figured if she wanted to come back she would be able to no questions asked. Now she knows that isn’t the case. I took action and reality might be finally hitting her for the first time.