Bo, I have been around a long time. It sounds like there may be some sort of crisis going on with your wife.
Here's the thing..you have to let go of who your wife was, because if you don't, you will keep feeling as you do. The sooner you accept that this is who she is right now, the better you can move forward. Now, dont get me wrong. It is hard. But know this...what you had was real. Dont allow her to rewrite history. You know your truth.
You need to go through the steps of grief because this is a death of what your marriage was. That doesnt mean there cant be a new marriage if that is what is meant to be.
You cant rush through this. It takes as long as it does. And you dont want to rush through any of the steps because if you do, they come back around to bite you.
The most important thing is this...begin to believe that this was a journey you were meant to go on. I know that for myself without a single doubt.
I also know that I could have been perfect and it would not have mattered because he was broken. It had, except for the stuff I needed to own, very little to do with me. This was his journey, too.
My job was this...not to cause harm to the relationship my son forged with his dad, to accept what my h felt, and to walk my path with dignity and courage.
You cannot change how she feels. Nor should you want to. That doesnt work in the long run for either of you.
So, feel what you need to and then let those feelings wash over you. That is the way forward.
