For starters took a trip back to the state of where my ex and I lived. Ex is still there. Had a great time all my supportive friends were there and I got to spend a nice long weekend with them and enjoy the weather. I posted some pics at the end on fbook and the day after, I had a calendar invite from the ex. I still do not understand how 2…2.5 years later her iphone calendar keeps sending me the invites to her activities. I guess I’ll never know. I ‘m not going to lie, I made sure the post was public, so she could see I was in town yet chose not to reach out. Not entirely sure why, mind game on my part perhaps? Rubbing It in? (don’t know if I posted on here that she mentioned she’d want to see me if I came to town).
Feelings non exw related…
Feel as though I am way too kind in general. I feel as though people are letting me down around me. I’ll explain, I have a co-worker I’ll call her ML whom I get along with very well, ML is new and young in the finance world so I do my best to have patience and I do my best to guide her. While she’s taken some days off I’ve offered to take on some of her work load, so she’s not so stressed, same thing planned for this coming xmas when ML goes back home! We had meeting the other day, I grabbed her reminded her to take a pen and paper (first meeting 3 mo ago the coworkers kind of laughed and made fun of her for not brining one). Then for some reason I missed a meeting, my boss came to find me, told me they were waiting on me. I felt so embarrassed, had to sit all the way to the front, and the screen was so close my neck hurt. I felt a little…disappointed ML didn’t grab me. Everything I do is because I want to, not because I expect anything in return I know, but then I get this feeling like, why doesn’t she offer to help me, ever? Or even remind me of important things? We do carry a friendship outside of work. Drinks, dinner on occasion, movies all with and without other friends, I was invited to her thanksgiving etc.
Kind of in the same boat as a personal friend, CG, from years 10 ago. I try to be helpful and respectful and help CG with her stuff, sometimes even her family too. If she needs something and I’ve got stuff going on and I know it’s something important for CG I re arrange for her. CG’s never done that for me, I don’t even think I’d have the nerve to ask for help just given her record of selfishness.
Sister, geez, perfect example, everything is about her, she gets mad and doesn’t reply to my texts, only if she wants something she’ll reply. With her I keep a distance and I’m aware of her but I keep the peace because of my nieces. Only if it’s convenient for my sister.
I do my best to be a good kind friend and it seems like they’re either just taking (without knowing or without any ill intentions) and I’m just like getting drained. These are so different than my friendships in my past state. They were certainly more 50/50. I genuinely feel my friends in my past state cared for me as I do for them. I can’t help but to wonder, when will I meet someone or some friends or where do I even look to find “better” ones or what can I do or how can I change the dynamic in my current ones. I hate having the “I got me” attitude but damn can’t ask for anything from anyone around me cus they just cant. Or not even asking just like help me if you see I didn’t “get” it or if I’m lacking somewhere. I guess those actions to me say “I don’t care about you” And I am most certainly not the type of person to change myself into saying no or being a little more standoffish simply because they are.
