A familiar story with questions EIGHT

[RR17]

Just a little Journaling:

Last night W and I went to grab a burger at the local mall. (man, Brick & Morter retail is in the crapper, for so close to Christmas) She suggested it and D16 wasn't interested. It was nice. I got a bit miffed when she took a call as soon as we sat down from a co-worker about the company's impending move. I wanted to throw some attitude but did not. This is progress for me. It's the little victories.
Anyway, we walked around the mall and enjoyed each other's company. W seems like Quality Time is her Love Language. I have read the book, it was after BD#1 and she said she did too. When she took the quiz she couldn't answer the questions. I helped her. It was kind of a mess because I brought up that she couldn't answer the questions in MC. That was 5 years ago.
After the mall, we came home and watched "I Tonya". Again quality time. 10 pm rolls around and I go up to the MBR after saying goodnight. I looked for the appropriate time for touch but never saw the opportunity. Less is better, right?


I also want to point out, for the benefit of all here, that although most of us don't GAL enough and Detach, more of the same isn't always the answer. Also, we all don't have NGS.
We are very similar, but not exactly. The same remedies don't always apply all of the time. There are stages to this stuff. I really couldn't GAL any more than I have.. I've got so many hobbies and activities outside of my MR. I'm not going to add any more.
Detaching doesn't mean that you will never be affected by rejection. It doesn't. If you were single and got shot down by a stranger you can still feel like crap. You're not attached to that stranger. It's part of being human. Detachment is a process and still, you will never be 100% detached unless you get divorced and are with somebody else. Think about it. Even when you are sufficiently Detached for DB purposes you will slip. You will slip because you still have feelings for this person. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here.

I plan to intentionally maintain a healthy level of Detachment in all of my relationships, from here on out. I see the value. I see how not being detached is destructive and really just a control issue. It's bata material you NGS types.

I don't even pretend to be any kind of expert, but I am learning and there are some truths that I believe I have figured out. It is always easier to look at other's sitchs and think, well they just need to... It is difficult to see your own faults and progress.

Thanks again Sandi, and all of you that take the time to read and comment. It is strange for me to feel a bizarre level of emotional intimacy with a bunch of strangers that I will never meet.