Advice for newcomer pre- bomb drop.

[Bern19]

Confronting will do nothing. You have to take action to reaffirm your boundaries on your spouse seeing other people. Simply confronting says "I know you're doing this and I'm not doing anything about it".

Yes, I know confronting will do nothing, but I do still want the facts. Maybe you weren't dealing with someone as manipulative as I am? The only way this can go down without a confrontation is if I leave my home. I don't want to leave my home. If she wants to be with someone else, then she needs to go live with someone else. I'd rather sit her down and explain that I know she's lying to me and have the facts to back it up. I've already verbalized the boundary that I will not share any part of her with him. Not as friends, text buddy's, or lovers. Even if she's just talking to him, she's lying to me. I explained that is a deal breaker for me. She is aware of that. I would tell her that until she is prepared to stop with all the lies and betrayal, she needs to go. ... but first I need the facts. If you don't understand that, i get it. We are all different people. That is just something I need for me. I have no problem taking a 2x4 to the face to get my attention, but when it's something I know that I need, i'm going to stick to that.