Whirlwind of Hurt 5

[Ready2Change]

D8 said it felt kind of like heartbreak. That is the term she uses to describe her feelings when W broke the news.

Two events. Same reaction. At school maybe her thinking about the first event? It is important to validate her feelings. Giving the child words to help describe her feelings. Most parents do not do the right thing in dealing with there children emotions. I am not an expert at this, and I do not remember which books were the most helpful. There are things called feeling wheels you can find on the internet.


As an example, I had to help my children deal with anger.

"You look angry"
"I am frustrated"
"We use words to describable how we are feeling"
"It is OK to be angry. It is not OK to use physical violence"
"I love you"
"We can talk when you calm down."
"Please go to your room to calm down and we can talk then"


[/quote]There was a lot of hyperventilating, panic, tears when the news was broken. I posted about it a while back if you want to go read about it for a refresher. Worst day of my life. [/quote]Yes I remember reading that post. Triggered a lot of my own memories. S7 Flipped out. D5 was too young. S9 Didn't react. Guess who is the most healthy? S7 who is now S18. You are the one who will burden the task of making sure the children get the support they need.

Remember this: There is no reasoning with CRAZY. Their mother may snap out of this or she may not. Assume she may not and make decisions on what is best for your kids.

Everyone says its supposed to get better, but it sure doesn't seem that way. Since she S it has calmed a bit, but not gotten better, nor worse. Is this the new normal? Nurturing children and waiting for the next blow from W or having to communicate with W about kids/finances while trying to manage her slight edge of hostility? Good grief, put a fork in me.

I gave up trying to co-parent with my X. I waited patiently believing that should would eventually come around. NOPE.

I hope in your case she does, but it will take a lot of time and a lot of patience.





I guess the bottom line is get some good books on how to help your kids through this. I know the parenting books helped me very much. I had to work extremely hard to even get my X to agree to get the kids into therapy. "They are fine at my house". When in fact the issue I brought up were happening at her house.