You told her you want in on her time, but she has to follow your rules? Yeah, no. Not healthy.
I think you should be adjusting your parenting plan where you don't do these drop offs that could lead into meals or play time. Playing with your daughter in her house with your rules isn't a good idea. If you want to spend extra time with her ask if you could take her out for ice cream or something.
Neffer is right, both of your cycles are unhealthy.
Time to focus on just you and your D to be healthy as can be.
