Dealing with a WW trying to save marriage pt2

[SoTorn]

I havent posted for a little while.

Summary of my stitch.

H(me) 38
W 38
D16
D19
S11

Married 16 years, together 21 years. BD on November 1, 2018. EA since March 2018, PA since August 2018. So far I am doing very well on detaching, GAL and 180. I am still living in MBR. WW is living upstairs in D19's old room. WW has traveled twice since BD, which is a huge trigger to me.

I left WW alone when she traveled, however she called me about the kids. When WW got back from out of town last week she was in full paranoid mode. WW thinks I am having her followed, thinks I am building a case against her, thinks I am recording her in the house, thinks I am recording her moms phone and bugging her moms house, thinks that I am videoing every corner of the house. WW told me these things, but we did not argue. I just validated with minimal words.

WW digs through my room when I am not home looking for "leverage". I don't know what WW thinks she will find but there is nothing to find.

I was having a major issue with being baited into arguments. Over the last two weeks I have completely stopped doing that. I have detached hard. I am absolutely focusing on myself. I hit my goal weight of 185lbs. I am down from 264lbs in April 2018.

Initially, besides WW trying to draw a negative reaction from me, she was completely detached. WW would hide in her room and I would never see her. WW stopped cooking, cleaning etc ever since September 24th when she moved upstairs.

Over the last 1.5 weeks WW started cooking dinner again. WW sits next to me at the dinner table. WW has been downstairs more.

I have been making a huge effort to be gone when WW is home. I went out of town this last weekend with S11. We had a great time. I feel a lot better focusing on myself and my children. I have been going out with friends on the weekends, taking the kids to dinner/movies during the week and going to the gym as much as I can after work.

I am at minimal contact with WW. WW cannot have any sort of discussion with me without immediately telling me she blames me and doesn't trust me. Therefore, I avoid contact unless necessary. Over the last 1.5 weeks we haven't had any of the usual baited arguments because I don't respond if she approaches me angry or upset. I just tell her that I cannot speak with her when she is angry/upset.

I keep it short and only talk about the kids or keep my contact toward WW to simple "Thank yous" for cooking or anything she does for me or the kids.

Over the last few days WW has started telling me that I look nice in the mornings before work and randomly asking me how work is. WW started asking me where I am going etc. Previously WW didn't care or say a word if I was leaving.

I have been sleeping very well. Initially when WW moved I still slept on my side of our King bed in the MBR. I have since taken over the middle of the bed. Much more comfortable.

So overall, everything is quiet at my house, even when I am there with WW. Nothing has changed beyond WW starting to ask me simple questions about work or telling me that I look nice and her being around me a little more.